; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize