How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
