He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
