It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
