I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
