Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
