we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
