Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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