make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
