he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
