If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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