Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My dick has a subreddit
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
