I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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