It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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