It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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