Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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