Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
