did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
