I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
