dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
