cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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