I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize