I cannot find my penis.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
