Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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