We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
