possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
