All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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