her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
