Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
