I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
