i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
