as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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