i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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