I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
