after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
