guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
