that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
barbara walters just said penis...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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