using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize