Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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