I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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