watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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