What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
