I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize