Acid is not a monday night drug
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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