I hate your face
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
