if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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