Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize