My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
