No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize