this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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