im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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