this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He better not be in your backpack
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
