I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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