What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
