i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
