his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
